So life has changed direction yet again. We started a YouTube channel. This is why I have been MIA on here. My partner finally decided YouTube would be a good outlet for him in his recovery. He is a recovering addict that is making steps to make sure he does not slip. He is figuring out his triggers and addressing them. No matter how hard they are to face, he is owning them, and talking about them often. He is not hiding from his disease anymore. He tells people almost as soon as we meet them” I’m a recovering addict”. The first time I heard him say it, my heart dropped. My first thought was are people going to judge us. Is he really ready to tell them that, we just met?? and so many other thoughts. Then I realized he is not hiding, he is not ashamed anymore. He is owning it and taking steps to fully recover. He is finally realize that he is on the other side. He has made it. Nothing has a hold of him anymore. He also knows now that he can help others that are struggling with addiction, in their recovery. So a whole session of our channel will be Jesse talking about his addiction recovery. Changes he has made that have worked as well as things that he still struggles with. He is under going mouth surgery this next week. So this part will all start in about a month or less. Jesse is ready for this next chapter of learning.
Our channel name is ” Our Journey 2 Just Be” where our name came from was our son Jairon. Jesse was in a rehab detox center for over 10 days with no contact. His first call was to us. Jairon our son was 2. The very first thing Jairon said to his dad was. ” Daddy . . . . . Just Be” the phone call ended as quickly as in began with Jesse balling on the other end of the phone. Jairon was only 2 and is still only 5. He has no idea how much that small little phrase has help so many. Jesse shared this phone call experience with his council group. Everyone was moved by it, it has came up time and time again. Some friends Jesse made in their have tattooed these words on there body and have shared it with Jesse. “Just Be” is what everyone needs to live by, not just Addicts. We all need to slow down and just be. This is why we decided to put it in our YouTube name.
I will also be sharing about my book on YouTube. My book is done, starting to type it. This is the long part that is not the most fun part. I am hoping that my book will be out in this calendar year. Once we get the YouTube thing down and I get the juggle down. I will probable just keep our YouTube channel and as some point this Blog will go away. So please if you still want to follow our lives. Come check out our YouTube “Our Journey 2 Just Be”
Us mothers that only have one child over the age of 4 have so many obstacles we face every day. Mom’s that have a very strict rule on screen time . . . . we have an even harder time day in day out. Well and then if you add on top of all of that, a very busy boy, that acts so much and is in his own world most of the time, that he can’t even listen to his own name(this makes things more interesting) . . . . . . . . that’s my child, my world. That is the one I get . . . . . the one I was gifted from the universe . . . . The one I get to guide through this crazy thing called life. We as parents of only one child get to also be there number 1 everything. Whenever you only have one child you do whatever you can to help stimulate them and keep them busy. We spend lots of money and time buying them things to keep them busy. In hopes to having some time to catch up on house work, maybe make some calls, ect. It always works the first time maybe the second but at some point your child is going to crave human interaction. So with one child you are the only other human so they will throw a fit sometimes to just get some attention. We have to make time for that one child that we have. It my be our only. If we let our self’s be consumed by our everyday tasks we miss it. Being there everyday and we still miss so much of it. I make sure I take a day to JUST BE. I do very little house work, and I make school time extra fun and different. We play most of the day and I just soak it all in. I don’t think about anything other than making memories and do this each week.
I never wanted an only child. I wanted many children and still would love to have at least one more. The universe has a plan that we my not understand all the time but we are always given what we need and what needs us. I decided when my son turned 2 I could wait awhile for any more babies. He has kept me on my toes since the day I felt him moving inside of me. I knew he would be smart but I did not realize how smart. He will change the world with that smile and sweet heart. I just have to stay strong along the way so he will keep his passion and drive in life. Us parents of the strong willed and stubborn little ones have very important jobs. We have to make sure our child is understood and not changed. We have to help them understand where and how to use their strengths. These children need our love more then most and most of the time they show it in a very unloving way. They are rough and hurt us often, they don’t watch where they are going or realize when they are making others unhappy. They are pushy and can be forceful at time. Then when you need it most they show you how much they really do love you and how gentle and sweet they can be.
My biggest struggle is being both the playmate and a mom. We have so many things to do and they pile up more every day it seems. Playing with your child can seem like a waste of time or its even hard for you to do, because you can’t turn your brain off about all the things on your to do list. You over think every second you are on the ground and can’t stay focused on your child. You keep trying to get up but they keep pulling you down and say “play with me mom! play with me!”. In your head you wish you could be in 2 place at once so you could fully appreciate your time playing.
Please stop doing this, I have and I am so glad I take time each week to play with my son. Over thinking takes away our memories and the very little time we have with our children. Playing is never a waste of time, not with your child or others. You helped make a memory that will last them a life time. We have many hats we wear being a mom but a mom of an only child is even harder because you are also there only playmate.
You will always have things to do and you will always feel like you wish you could be in 2 places at once. These things will not change but you can choose to sit and play with your child each week. You can choose to let go and just focus on their little face. You can choose to watch them play and interact with their toys. You can choose to turn off the screen and JUST BE.
I became a mother at 30 for the first time. I thought I was beyond ready but I was very unprepared. Being a first time mother was the hardest time in my life. I also had no parents or grandparents to lean on. It was just me and so it was so much harder then I bet it would have been if I had more support. Jesse my sons dad was amazing and helped me a lot. He would come home from work and hold Jairon our son for an hour every day. He was my biggest support and still is. I could not be the person or mother I am today without my amazing man by my side. So grateful for him.
Our son has always been very active and moving always. I knew from the inside we would have our hands full. Kept me awake a many of night playing around in my belly. He took so many firsts in different orders then most babies. He really did not crawl tell he walked. He was a roller. Always moving as fast as he could. Rolling is easier and much faster then crawling. So finally walked right before 1( I was not rushing it) I sure had my hands full from that day on. He only walked for about 3 days and then he just started running every where. I was like wow he is giving us a run for our money( literally). After that we have just been going and going.
Now fast forward, he is 5. He is finally deciding he is big enough to do it all. Very independent now. This is new. Just one year ago was a fight about everything. What he was wearing, what he had to eat, why we had to leave. He was so frustrating at times. I thought I might become MAD. I just kept telling myself I’m his mother because I’m what he needs. I’m very consistent and try to be patience(but still loose my s**t). I never wanted just one child in fact I told Jesse when I first met him I wanted 4 boys. Well that all very quickly changed. I have a boy and he is all I need right now. If I do get another child I feel its going to be a while tell Jairon is much older. He has a hard time sharing his parents but does with all the other kids that love us.
He is growing and changing so much lately Its hard to catch it all. He is starting to be so helpful and wants to always know what I’m doing. He sure has not slowed down and I don’t think he ever will. He is by far one of the most difficult childern I have ever been involved with but he is worth it. Every moment I feel like how is this my child or how did I get dealt this card. I remember that I waited along time to be a mom because I wanted to be ready and to have an amazing father for that child. I was as ready as you can be at 30 and I was given what I was meant to have. This phrase has carried me. Made me realize maybe I was not blessed before 30 with children because the child that needed me was not ready for the world yet and I needed to really be ready for what the universe had in store for me. We all have a story that is not written yet that we make the ending to. Choose to see your child as a blessing no matter how difficult. Make your self feel blessed instead of burdened, no matter what card you have been dealt. I have one of the more difficult child of the world but I love him more every trying day. I know he is teaching me so much more then I realize. Your child is doing the same, We just have to look at it as the biggest hardest blessing we will get in this life and to everyday fight for that child’s future. I know my child will change the world, because I’m going to instill it into him. I tell him positive things like. You are a nice boy please be a nice boy. Children have this funny way of becoming just what you tell them they will be. So keep your words positive and see them grow into amazing people that will make a difference in this world.
We are so glad we got to throw an amazing Party in our new place. One year ago on November 1st we got our keys. I said in the first week that we will be throwing a Halloween party next year. I have a nice big garage and a great entertainment space in this house. We had to do it and have some fun with our friends and family. I spend many hours decorating and planning. I spent way to much money but it was worth it to have such a fun time in our new place. We had the garage setup with black lights and a orange glowing pumpkin. We had 4 games out there. The Ghoul pool, The Pumpkin Smash, the Cake Walk, and Bobbing for Apples. We made so many yummy treats like witch brooms, witch hats, Monster Mix, Monster pops and Dirt Cake.We ordered pizza halfway through to refuel. Everyone needed it to continue on with the party fun.
After Pizza we did the costume contest, First place win, went to Juni the Donut!! Second place prize went to Maite as the Disney Princesses Jasmine, Third place was Maxx the monkey. We then did musical Chairs. There was 13 kids so we only did one round. Some kids were sad and wanted to do it again but it took along time to get throught it just once. The kids had fun and It brought back so many childhood memories. Then we did dance party and ended the night with Dirt Cake and more snacking. Everyone had pretty full bags, with lots of candy and prizes st the end of the night. So many adults dressed up and the kids loved it. We had a moo cow, a German milk Maid, a fairy god mother, I skate boarder, a butterfly, a skeleton, a police officer and a Pirate. Loved to see the adults having some fun with it. I’m so glad we did it and so glad so many new friends could come. Hope next year more family can come and old friends. Tell next year.
Halloween is our favorite holiday in this house. Christmas is a close second. I throw a party and invite all of our friends and family. This year my family is very busy and only a few can make it. I have made quite a few friends over the last 2 years and invited all of them plus old dear friends. I moved an hour away from most people I knew 2 years ago so not sure how many will be able to drive all that way. Hope we just have a good turn out and who every makes it, has a blast. Love to help the kids make memories.
So we spent all weekend and I mean all weekend cleaning and organizing the garage. We accumulated a lot of stuff in a year. We moved from an apartment and had just restarted our lives together just one year before that. We moved and It felt so empty in this house. We sure do love this house and the people in our neighborhood. After it was cleared out we made a wall with our skate ramp for the fishing game. Then I started to get everything fit together and I started covering the walls with black plastic bags and getting the place spooky for the party. We decided on 5 stationary games. The Fishing Ghoul pool, Bobbing for Apples, Cake Walk, Guess game and Pumpkin Smashing ( no pumpkins will be hurt in this game). I have made all 4 signs and the Jar for the guessing game.
Super excited to party it up with everyone. Back to party planning I go.
The 2 year mark has come and gone. I thought in the be-gaining I could pump out a book in a year. You have a great idea and many people that you know could benefit from. You spend so much time thinking about it and writing it. You feel like it will never come. I am finally at the final stages for the writing part. Just the first draft. I am going to be down loading a talk typing app. I have hand written every word. It just flows out sometimes and others its just ideas that turn into a chapter. So many have contacted me wanting to know when. I am unable to know at this time. I need to be closer to being ready to publish before I can say. So much work is put in to making a book I never knew. I will keep going and pushing forward. I have never been a quitter.
I moved to an amazing neighborhood about a year ago. When moving I knew the new house was by a nice school and really nice family homes were there. A few months after moving. It was Christmas time so we decided to go hand out some cookies and meet our closest neighborhoods. We met a few elderly couples, and some families. I was so pleased to meet them all but did not expect to have so much In common and grow so fondly of my neighborhood. I realized that so many are working towards the same goals and raising their children the same way. Minimize screen time,they almost all garden, healthier foodies. We have monthly socials which has been a great time to get to really know my neighbors. Two of my neighbors have written and publish childern books. Both say they can help me once I’m complete and ready to publish. I feel more and more in my soul that we are put right where we are meant to be. I have been doing the work and was not sure how to handle the publishing part.
I now have everything in my life to make this dream happen. Your support system is so important . Without mine I would have given up along time ago. Keep your circle positive and inspiring. If you never give up then you’ll always be winning.
So It’s been a while since I posted, My computer finally got to old to work with everything I was doing. It kept crashing and crashing. Had to get external hard drive and wipe the computer of all pictures and videos. These last 2 years have been a lot of failure after failures but I just kept going. My life has not been easy so struggling is part of my personality. I had to give my computer a break but kept going with other project.
I had to save and research to find the right computer. I finally decided on a desk top so its easier to upgrade in the future. I had some local guys build it and even they were impressed with its performance. Me not being a very tecky person, was beyond pleased to hear so much enthusiasm from the tec guys. At first the set up was difficult, new computers are different in a few ways. It’s been a few years since I’ve had a desk top. I went and got some fun computer gear to help me get over the overwhelming feeling of this beast of a computer. But finally got it going and the feeling that consumed me at that moment was pure joy. Knowing I was making my Dreams come true. Like the universe was telling me YES this is your correct path. That will help you help as many people in this life as possible. I then sat on it overwhelmed for a bit, but then dived in and wow is what I thought. I jumped right into my first project and every time I clicked, It was real time, not loading in between each click. I was able to get so much more done in such a short period of time. I have to stop being such a perfectionist and realize its my first video. To leave room for improvement. So I’m on the final stages of our first class room video. Thanks for your support and blog post will be starting once again. Excited for our future.
We took our first big vacation of 2019 to California to see Kelli and Harry’s New place. Jesse got off work a bit early and drove to Yreka, California the first day. Decided to stayed in a hotel there. Jairon’s First time staying in a hotel. He kept asking where the living room was and if this was Kelli’s . . . . . . . We thought that was so cute. He is a great little traveler and did finally understand we were halfway there and that we would see Kelli the next day. We went and had the most delish dinner at Black Bear Diner. We all slept so very well and then headed to Sanora, California early. This is where Kelli has decided to retire. It was about 6 hours with stops. Jairon slept for part of it and we stopped in Sacramento so Jairon could go play at a great park I found downtown. There was so many cool feature at the Park. They had a few alien ships and sculptures that the kids could play on and take pictures with. They had swings and a big sand pit we could not keep Jairon out of( he needed to move and get all the wiggles out).Jesse stayed right with Jairon and played with him the whole time. Jesse is such a hands on dad, that truly enjoys spending time with his child. We are so luck to have him.
I took lots of pictures and talked to a really nice family with 4 kids. We ended up staying for about 45 mins. Then it was Back on the road we go. We had about 2 hours left and a beautiful drive ahead. As we got closer and closer to Yosemite the natural beauty increased with every mile. Having all that Beauty around to detract us, helped the last 2 hours fly by. We were at Kelli’s in no time. We got a quick tour of the house and then in the pool we went.Ruby Jesse littlest cousin was there staying with Kelli. Jairon loved to have a kid to play with. It was so hot and man did the pool feel heavenly. We enjoyed the pool for the rest of the day. The kids had fun playing with us adults. Then stayed up late to see Jupiter and Saturn with uncle Harry’s telescope. It was super cool to see them and how bright they were. The bugs loved us, well they loved Jesse and I. Jairon never gets bite. Lucky guy. The next morning was a slow one. Everyone stayed up much to late. We had a very crabby Jairon. But we rolled with it. Kelli took u
s to the old town place and we rode on an old covered wagon and we almost got “Robbed”. Jairon was like, what the heck is going on. He got all serious and said” what is going on here guys”. Then right at the end of the hold up he said “its enough” and then when he let us go. Jairon said” that was a close one” to cute. We laughed at how cute Jairon’s reaction was and I even got some of it recorded. Then It was time to go have lunch at the old town pizza place. We got to drink all the Sarsaparilla(rootbeer) we could with pizza and bread sticks. Was the best meal on the whole trip. Best Sarsaparilla I have ever had, well the only Sarsaparilla I have ever had. . . . Then we headed back to Kelli’s to enjoy the rest of the hot day in Kelli’s and Harry’s pool. We all had a blast. Jairon is really showing more confidence in the water and will for sure be swimming by the end of summer. We all got a bit burnt but not to bad. Kelli offered to keep Jairon the next day while we went to Yosemite, We thought about it and our last years trip to Yellowstone. Jairon is a bit young to be walking 5 plus miles and Jesse would be carrying him the whole time. Jairon was having a rough time with the trip getting him off of his normal schedule so we decided to take her up on her offer.We decided we would just leave super early and get back in time to spend the last day with everyone. It was an early night for everyone. Jesse and I were excited to have an advernture the next day just us too.
I decided I wanted to rent a beach house for the first time, to celebrate making it halfway to 70. Pretty big deal, not everyone has made it this far. I invited 2 of my brothers, and their families. My friend Klayton came and My sister Kerry. It was so much fun, We ended up one mile from the beach at devils lake in Lincoln City. The beach house was more beautiful then I could possible imagine. Not to mention we could have not asked for more perfect weather. Perfect not to hot or to cold. We had many water extras that came with the house. Kayaks, paddle boards, and a paddle boat. We all had so much fun enjoying the beach(lake) house, We only ended up at the beach for a few hoursand it was cold. But while at the beach Jairon Flew a kite for the first time and we all built a huge sand castle. Just one mile in and the weather was so much different(warm). Once we got back we stripped down to more summery clothes and got back to enjoying the sun and the Lake. All the kids had such a fun time, We all ended up using everything. Pretty sure most everyone got a sunburn. We could not help it, The weather was too amazing. Later that night we had a campfire and roasted up some marshmallows for smores. The kids ended up heading in, to go watch a movie; while us adults stayed out at the fire talking while Jesse played his guitar. I just sat and watched the stars. We talked about space, and aliens. We talked about old times and childhood memories. I can’t remember any birthday’s that tops this one. I was so happy everyone could make it. I know Jairon made some great memories and I hope the other kids did as well.
In times like these where you realize this is what life is about. Making memories and taking time to spend with family. Every childhood memory has at least one of these people in it. So many adventure and thinking about all the times we almost died(got to love brothers).Looking up at the star thinking about do this same thing 25 years ago with these same people. But instead of talking about what we wanted to do and be when we grew up. We talked about kids/school/health/ and about our kids future. 25 years ago I dreamed to have the life I have now. To be with a nice man, that treats me well and respects me . With a nice house, friendly neighbors, and beautiful sweet children. I wanted to be happy,healthy and really in love. I wanted lots of kids but only have one. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .( I have baby fever) It made me realize I have made my dreams come true from 25 years ago, now I wonder where the next 25 years will take me. So many things I want to do and so many goals I’m working towards. Feeling so blessed and excited to see where the next 35 years take me.
While giving my son a break at a park on vacation. I started talking to a very nice family. The mother was a teacher and had 4 kids of her own. We talked bout boys and having a hard time in school. We talked about how sad it is so many kids are being put on drugs so they will stop getting in trouble at school. We talked about school funding and school classes being cut on options in high schools. We agreed on so many things. Then some how mandatory vaccinations came up. California has a very strict rule on vaccinations and school. Parents have gotten there kids taken away due to not vaccinating. This is crazy to me. We have a right to choose what is best for our kids. We have a right to say if we want or don’t want something to be put in our child’s body. We have a right to question if something is safe. I am not an anti-vaccinator, BUT I believe we all should have the right to choose. I believe every single man women and child matters. There has been more deaths from prescription drugs then any illness caused from not being vaccinated. There are immune system deficiency disorders where kids would die if they had even one vaccination, there are family’s that have rare complicated jeans that cause them to get the symptoms of the disease they are getting vaccinated for. Like being paralyzed from the polio vaccine( temporarily) or getting a mild rash from the MMR. This can happen and has. These family’s would be effected by mandatory vaccination laws. Right?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So while we get into this subject I hear her say some very selfish and brainwashed things like. ” Mandatory vaccinations is a good thing” for who?? big Pharma. She said that it keeps the majority of the public “safe” or is it that it takes away a another human right?? and they tell us its a good idea and in-place fear in our minds to make us think its a big risk to not. I asked her does not everyone matter???? . . . . without missing a beat she said “No”. this shocked me coming from a teacher. then she said ” I know that sounds bad, but I care about my 4 kids and there safety” . . . . . . . .My heart sank to my stomach and I felt myself blush. Is this what the world has come too. We only care about our people in our little circle. Then I asked if she agreed with what New York just passed, where every child under the age of 12 has to carry around there proof of vaccination. They will have health officers at every public place checking to see if kids are vaccinated. This is crazy to me. She said ” yes good for them, taking action to protect there states people . . . . I said “What!!!!!! not all the people only the majority that can vaccinate”. I again brought up the other kids in the world that can’t vaccinate/ parents don’t vaccinate them. They can’t go to public places, they can’t even take piano lessons or go to the local park and play. Can’t go to public or privet schools forcing parents to vaccinate or home school. Her response was the deal breaker on continuing any further with my time. She stated” New York has always been the leader on change and I hope soon the whole nation changes to that so we can better protect our childern”. I politely said” Thanks for your dedication as a teacher and good luck with her 4 children.” she was nice as well and said “safe traveling and have fun at Yosemite” I walked away so shocked that this is what our would has came to. I’m glad we could disagree and leave the conversation on a peaceful note but dang did I have a bad taste in my mouth. I care about everyone, I truly do. We all need to start looking at the bigger picture not just at the picture inside our bubble. I hope more people realize no matter the reason it is not ok to take away our human rights. No even ONE.
I became a mother about 5 years ago. I started to feel this living being inside of me. He reacted to noise and his dad playing guitar. That’s when your whole world around you changes. You feel overwhelmed and the amount of happiness you feel is beyond measure but with that love comes stress. At the beginning you have no idea what you are doing and you feel like a zombie 24/7. Then one day you just say being completely exhausted ” I have to do this, I don’t have a choice”. Then A bit more time go’s by and then It’s not forced anymore and you start taking better care of yourself. Then you start enjoying parenting more and soaking in the moments more. This is where I am. I feel like I go go go go go and some how keep going. I was folding clothes at 10:45 at night thinking about how far I have came as a parent. Then again I was up at 6:00 am cleaning and doing dishes thinking about it again so decided I needed to write it down and what better place.
Well first of all, I take much better care of myself and my family. I have done it all good and bad as a parent and have perspective now. I’m so blessed to be home with my own child and get to help guide other children. I love what I do and learn more and more every day. The kids teach me much more then I teach them. I learn how to be a better mother a little more every day. As a mother we can’t stop learning and growing with our child. We have to change along with their changes. As mothers we always have 100 things to do and 100 more we should be doing. If we could some how be 8 people we could get everything accomplished that we thinking about wanting to do/ needing to do. Time go’s by way to fast and we just don’t have enough energy to do all the things we think about doing. Mother’s do their best.
I have a busy life, It’s everything I ever wanted and I’m willing to do the work. I love working for myself and working on myself at the same time. I have been getting my juggle down and feeling so good and so motivated. I look in my “baby” boys eyes and remember why I’m doing ” it all”. For him and the future generations. I want to help as many people in this life as possible. Truly living in life is about giving. What I give the most is my love. It makes me feel so good to help others. It feeds my soul to ease others of issues. I love to be busy and having purpose. Life really is amazing you just have to be willing to do the work. If you want the world to change start with you. Give, Live, Love
Rain or shine we planned to go, and we got some of both. The kids never complained once about the rain. It was not a cold day so that helped and it was just exciting for all of them to all be together at the Zoo. The only one we had missing was Draydyn. We missed him and Colby asked a few times “where was Draydyn” But I was so happy 4 of the 5 kids got to come. Jesse and Colby Hung out for most of the day. Juni’s dad Mike and I kept an eye on Jairon, Juni and Paislee. That was a task but do to a bit of rain there where not a lot of people there. We saw so many animals. Shortly after getting there, we saw a snake eating a rat. It was super cool to watch. Then we saw the flamingo and a duck with a bright blue bill. The huge fish in the tank with the alligator was cool. The alligators eyes keeps following the fish as they swam by. We though we might get to see another animal eat. But the alligator did not end up moving. The porcupines on the other hand where moving all over. It was like they where doing a little dance. Their long quills looked like they had suits of long dark grass on or a stiff wig. The kids really liked the Porcupines, they giggled a lot while we watched them walk around. Then came my favorite animal, the giraffes, these majestic, huge but gentle creatures amaze me. Every time I see them I feel like I’m in the presence of greatness. They are like no other animal on earth. Then we saw some funny looking monkeys and went into where the birds are. Then we saw the lions. since it was raining they where close to the glass out of the rain. I had Paislee with me looking at the lion. The lion turned and looked right at us. Made eye contact with both Paislee and me. Paislee backed up and bonged her head and I truly felt the feeling of true power when that Lion looked directly in my eyes. The power they have is so amazing to see in real life. Then came the cheetahs. Due to the rain they as well where very close to the window and napping. But the safari jeep right by the cheetahs was a big hit with all the kids. Then we headed over to the elephants for the info show. The elephant was in such a great mood and did all kinds of things. He was being oh so silly. The kids loved it. We had lunch there as well. Then came the chimpanzees they gave quite the show. There was one right by the glass and it started to make kissy faces at Paislee and she got scared. I said he is just giving her kisses. Then had Jairon go see if the chimp would give him love. It kissed at Jairon and at Juni. They played with it. opened there mouth and then silly faces. Then he seemed to get embarrassed or just was done and he went away. It was a super cool experience and It was so cute to see the animal show love and communication skills. Then came the penguins and then sea otters. Both exhibits where pretty empty of animals. Then we decided to take the train around the Zoo. The kids loved it and wanted to go again but we once went once. Then it was time to head out. We saw the white mountain goats on the way out and had the 3 oldest kids do the pictures booth. Was a great way to end the day. Got to love field trips and getting away to learn. So thankful for my life and everyone in it.
Juni’s brother go’s to the same dojo as my family. Her dad over heard me say I baby sat. I gave him my card and then about a week later he called and then Juni started shortly there after. She has been coming for about 3 weeks and has adjusted very quickly. She is about to celebrate her 4th birthday and has gone to a pre-school before. So this is not her first rodeo. She is very smart and loves to do painting and art. She asked to do art every time she comes. She really likes to play with Paislee when she comes on the same day. They like to play with Jairon and the best part is they both don’t like it when Jairon is rowdy and rude. They tell him if he wants to play with them he has to be nice. I’m excited about that, Jairon needs more then just me telling him to be nice and that people won’t like that behavior. They all got to go to the Zoo together and had a great time. Juni fits like a glove into our dynamic at school. She has already decided her favorite planet is Neptune because it purpley she said. That’s her favorite color. She also loves to talk unless she is tired and then she just wants to complain she is bored lol. She has not napped at my house yet but I have been wearing her out each day. I know she likes it here because she crys every time her dad picks her up and she asks to stay here longer. She is a lovely girl and I’m excited to see how her little brain works.
Maxx was a preemie and has everything that go’s along with that. He knows how to cry to say he is not happy but we are still working on word comunication. He says some words but no more then 2 together. He is so cute and super happy when he is happy. He is a bit sensitive but you can easily distract him. With motion, or new noises. He loves it when you act silly but not to silly or you could scare him. He has a rough sleeping pattern, that is frustrating but we will work on it. He after only one week is starting to listen, trust and learn that we are good people that truly care about him. He is saying words and crying less. He is just underdeveloped and needs a push to catch up and I’m the girl that can do it.
Any time a kid starts there is an adjustment period, they cry more, they can’t sleep at first, they sometimes won’t eat, they are still learning to trust you. Poor Maxx’s first week was a tough one. He started to break his 2 year old molars and got sick. There was a lot of crying but I showered him with love and patience. He started to feel better by the end of the week and had a great ending to the last day. He played outside well with the other kids and seemed to be more trusting on this day. I’m excited to get to know Maxx better and become one of his people he fully trusts. Adjustment is hard for anyone, I feel good about what the future holds. Love this boy already. The sky is the limit.
We all live and learn our own way at our own time. Everyone just wants and needs love. I have realized from my gramma Coe being walked all over her whole life; I did not want that to be me. . . . . . . . . . . . I became her anyways, its weird how that happens. Being like her for to many years made me learn that tough love is the hardest to give but the most important one. Tough love was hard to learn but now I sometimes over do the “tough love part”. Someone has to be the bad guy. I am that bad guy often. I call it how it is. It’s hard to make friends but the smart ones know my intentions are good. Kerry and I hit a rough patch, I had to take a step back. I had to think about what was I doing at 25, think about my friend choices(not great), where I spent my money, What was I doing with my time, . . . . . . . Then realization hit me, I was expecting her to do things I was not doing at her age. I had my answer and knew the angle to take from here.
Well My sweet little sister got overwhelmed by the realness I ask from her. I want her to be 100 % her, not a fake version. I was expecting to much of her and I was rushing her to grow up.I ask her to talk with me, she agreed. Her and I have both grown from this and have sat down and talked details out. I have had to take a big step back and let her do her own thing. Taking myself back to when I was 25, Just moved back in with gramma, newly single and ready to mingle. Not home a lot and not communicating well. I had no re-guard for others worrying about me. I know I upset my gramma often living with her. At the time I did not understand why, I cannot just live my life. I have much better perspective now. I felt better after we hashed it out and wrote up a new contract.
I took the time to type up the contract in a very simple way so Kerry could fully understand it. I had her read it out loud and she commented on anything she had questions on. She said she agreed and signed it. I’m going forward stepping back and just being here to help guide her. Here to stay positive and keep her going forward. She has had 10 good days no a row. She has her space but responsibilities also have to be met. Feeling confident going forward, I know what I’m doing from here on out. That’s to let go and just be her safe place. She knows I love her and just want whats best for her. She is going to do what I ask more when She feels like she can choose the right thing. She is so much more like me at that age then I realized. We have rebonded in more of a sister/best friend/roommate kinda way. She has asked” Sister can we have sister time” melts my heart . I’ll take the time I can get, when she wants to hangout. She is being more open about what she does and sharing more personal details. I’m excited to see where this new begaining takes us.
We have been dedicating so much time and energy to Kempo. We are falling in love with the art. I honestly never knew I could love something as passionately as I do so quickly. At first I just thought it would be good to get in shape. I knew It would work me out better then I would work myself out at the gym. I wanted to support Jairon and show him we are all doing it. I thought it would be cool to beable to defend myself and to protect my loved one. But it had became much much more. There is a flow and connection to the moves. Once you start feeling the flow you naturally remember the sequence. The movements feels amazing, like you can almost feel you pushing the energy around. You feel more and more powerful with the moves as it starts to flow out of you. Kempo is incredible in everyway and I would recommend any family to go for life. You learn so much more then self defense.
Some other classes we are taking is a Qi class. John teaches us how to channel Qi in our class. We have steps we say in a way we believe it and visualize the energy in the place you want it in your body. Hands, whole body, arm, John puts us through tests to see if we can hold the feeling of Qi longer then a few seconds. Everyone can do it for a short time. The feeling is unlike anything I have ever felt. Can’t wait to go to my next class.
This is the first Easter in our new house.We are excited to have a yard to hid eggs in and a big 4 year old that really gets it this year. We did an Easter party at school this week. We made an Easter project, dyed craft eggs and did two different egg hunts. We had a great time. I had all the kids, a bit crazy but so fun and so worth the time and effort. I gave them each a basket with 2 flower shaped bracelets, 2 eggs filled with candy, and a stuffed animal. Then got more prizes from the second egg hunt. Each egg had a ticket in it, that had a word on it of the prize. They each ended up winning an Easter Book, some more candy, tops, parachute man, Easter coloring sets, and games. It was a great time, I love all these kids and know each one so well. I love being their teacher and love that I learn from them in ways I never knew. I’m truly blessed to have the life I do and can’t wait to see where all these wonderful little people end up.
I have so much to give in this life,and I love the way giving makes me feel. I give pieces of my soul to every child I work with. I hope that each one takes one or 2 things from what I teach and remembers it always. To think about how important so many teachers were in my life. That I still think about and have impact from. I hope to give this same kinda lasting effect on all the children I have worked with and will work with. Our truest gift we have on earth is to learn and to teach. We are always are doing one or the other and if we are not then we are staying stagnant in life. We have to have goals and dreams to be working towards always. If we spend our time just entertaining ourselves, we burn out at some point and then things like depression and anxiety happen because to have lost our drive or passion to life. I have so much passion for children’s early development, It’s the fundamentals of life. I received an amazing coupon from the ” your baby can learn” site, that I could not pass up. I know how very important knowing 2 languages is. Most countries learn 2 languages very early on. I always wanted to know Spanish and have learned some in school but I’m far from fluent. So I ordered The Spanish “Your baby can learn” for my son and the kids. It’s the whole program in Spanish. I am so excited to see how these kids brains soak up the new language.
Kerry has decided to go back to Kempo and has been showing some true dedication. Even when her mood gets negative and depressed she still go’s. Even If she burns out before its over and is out of it before class ends, she still went and did the whole class. I’m so proud of her and I can’t wait to see how much growth happens. She is learning slowly that life can be beautiful and good. You can choose to have a good day every day and more and more she is pulling herself out and choosing to have a good day. Even if the day starts out rough. She really is showing progress and effort. She wants to have purpose and she wants to have genuine friendships. She wants to know people really care. I tell her every chance I get that I’m here fight with her, for a better future. I know having structure is hard and being rebellious is part of being our mother’s children. She was very very rebellious in her life. Jairon is also very rebellious but he is getting it from both sides. She is starting to believe me when I tell her things and is starting to change her words. She is realizing how truly powerful words are. She does not speak so poorly of herself. I keep on her about the words she uses and she has been even pointing it out to me. So this makes me know she is being more selective of what words she is using. Being positive all the time is hard for anyone. So proud of her.
I have always loved everything about Martial Arts. I was right there with the boys wanting to learn how to become a super hero. David, Ryan and I always played super hero’s and so when our Gramma put us in Martial Arts we were beyond excited and Could not wait to learn. I learned enough to stop getting bullied and so did my brothers. My sister did a very little bit of Martial Arts growing up but was always kicking and punching. She has always been super strong and has hurt me pretty bad a few times with her strength. Her hugs can crack ribs. No a joke. So I really thought she would not only be naturally good but she would enjoy it. I was right. She is getting better and better and starting to really know this is a life time of work and dedication. It’s not something that you quit, there is no season. If you truly do something because you enjoy it, you never stop and you become passionate about it. She is showing both dedication and passion. Now we are on a race to see who will get orange belt first.
Well for a family that never gets sick. Sickness found us this year. All am going to say is no one should be sick for that long and feel that bad, thank goodness my child stayed healthy. I appreciate every single thing more. I’m glad I can clean for as long as I want, Without taking breaks in between. I’m happily sweeping and wiping every surface, Knowing I have a clear head and able to concentrate. I appreciate the ability to take care of my son, without feeling I should be doing more. I’m stress free because I just think about my over all health and knowing how blessed I am with amazing man by my side. A sister that really does show she cares and is very able when she does not have ability to not help. I also feel like I am no longer so hard on myself. I saw how the family struggled to do the things they always count on me for. I appreciate everything they did, from taking care of me to taking care of Jairon since I could not. I deep cleaned the house a week ago and saw the amount of dirt I myself did not take the time to truly think about till I saw the deep cleaning that was not done. What I have concluded from all of this is I rock at life, I am pretty amazing and so I decided after that day, Stop being hard on yourself. Only lift yourself up, push your self, motivate yourself. I know I have to be the example for everyone I am around. That’s all we can do live our lives and hope along the way we leave to lasting impression.
I feel a change in me that is going to change my life. A burning fire that is going too fuel my future success. I know I will do all the things I want because I am taking baby steps everyday towards them. Every person that has a dream can only make them come true with hard work and being able to struggle and fail. Picking yourself back up after every fall is how you succeed. Life is not easy in anyway shape of form. Only the strongest will go the furthest. Sickness may have took me out physically for a week, That same sickness is feeding my fire to progress. Everything that is put in your path has a reason to be there, Its up to you to take it as something to grow from or something that happened to you. I wish and hope for everyone to feel like I do. With purpose and progress everyday. I keep fighting and every single minute of every day counts. Every second waste can never be replaced. Its gone for good. You can always start fresh and new the next day. We all have lazy days and not as productive as we could of days. We are human and consistency is one of the hardest self disciplines to learn. We all thrive in structured environments. Children love structure and with out discipline they are lost and don’t know their boundaries. Once we are adults we have to somehow do all of this for ourselves, it’s not that easy. That being said just be the best you can be and don’t be too hard on yourself. Life is good in sickness and in health.
Jairon has had a rough start with karate but is starting to come around. This week we saw a big improvement in him and he received 2 stripes on the same day. My child needs this as much as his father and I do. We are all learning self discipline and dedication to the art. We have all gotten bruises but its making us all stronger. Kerry is getting back into it so hope she sticks with it. The test is coming up again. Would be so cool if they both got their yellow belts. We would be a family of yellow belts. Jairon is waking up doing his 8 point blocking system. He taught his girl Paislee and wants to play Karate and be the instructor. He likes to make us do push ups when we mess up. He is so focused and serious when he is the instructor. He is only 4 and is super close to testing for his yellow belt. I will be so proud, I just worry a bit of the length of time of the test. He would have a hard time so I’m ok waiting another few months.
We have found our lost love. We all love everything about Karate. I have befriended a girl named Paige and we will be starting to workout together soon. She works so well with the pee-wee class and is super nice. I also found out a lot of the kids are special needs so I’m hoping to make so more PSW contacts so i can get back wear my heart is kids with special needs. I started reorganizing my book and I’m excited to get some more done. I can’t wait to see what other changes come along with our new found love,Karate.