I became a mother at 30 for the first time. I thought I was beyond ready but I was very unprepared. Being a first time mother was the hardest time in my life. I also had no parents or grandparents to lean on. It was just me and so it was so much harder then I bet it would have been if I had more support. Jesse my sons dad was amazing and helped me a lot. He would come home from work and hold Jairon our son for an hour every day. He was my biggest support and still is. I could not be the person or mother I am today without my amazing man by my side. So grateful for him.
Our son has always been very active and moving always. I knew from the inside we would have our hands full. Kept me awake a many of night playing around in my belly. He took so many firsts in different orders then most babies. He really did not crawl tell he walked. He was a roller. Always moving as fast as he could. Rolling is easier and much faster then crawling. So finally walked right before 1( I was not rushing it) I sure had my hands full from that day on. He only walked for about 3 days and then he just started running every where. I was like wow he is giving us a run for our money( literally). After that we have just been going and going.
Now fast forward, he is 5. He is finally deciding he is big enough to do it all. Very independent now. This is new. Just one year ago was a fight about everything. What he was wearing, what he had to eat, why we had to leave. He was so frustrating at times. I thought I might become MAD. I just kept telling myself I’m his mother because I’m what he needs. I’m very consistent and try to be patience(but still loose my s**t). I never wanted just one child in fact I told Jesse when I first met him I wanted 4 boys. Well that all very quickly changed. I have a boy and he is all I need right now. If I do get another child I feel its going to be a while tell Jairon is much older. He has a hard time sharing his parents but does with all the other kids that love us.
He is growing and changing so much lately Its hard to catch it all. He is starting to be so helpful and wants to always know what I’m doing. He sure has not slowed down and I don’t think he ever will. He is by far one of the most difficult childern I have ever been involved with but he is worth it. Every moment I feel like how is this my child or how did I get dealt this card. I remember that I waited along time to be a mom because I wanted to be ready and to have an amazing father for that child. I was as ready as you can be at 30 and I was given what I was meant to have. This phrase has carried me. Made me realize maybe I was not blessed before 30 with children because the child that needed me was not ready for the world yet and I needed to really be ready for what the universe had in store for me. We all have a story that is not written yet that we make the ending to. Choose to see your child as a blessing no matter how difficult. Make your self feel blessed instead of burdened, no matter what card you have been dealt. I have one of the more difficult child of the world but I love him more every trying day. I know he is teaching me so much more then I realize. Your child is doing the same, We just have to look at it as the biggest hardest blessing we will get in this life and to everyday fight for that child’s future. I know my child will change the world, because I’m going to instill it into him. I tell him positive things like. You are a nice boy please be a nice boy. Children have this funny way of becoming just what you tell them they will be. So keep your words positive and see them grow into amazing people that will make a difference in this world.