We all live and learn our own way at our own time. Everyone just wants and needs love. I have realized from my gramma Coe being walked all over her whole life; I did not want that to be me. . . . . . . . . . . . I became her anyways, its weird how that happens. Being like her for to many years made me learn that tough love is the hardest to give but the most important one. Tough love was hard to learn but now I sometimes over do the “tough love part”. Someone has to be the bad guy. I am that bad guy often. I call it how it is. It’s hard to make friends but the smart ones know my intentions are good. Kerry and I hit a rough patch, I had to take a step back. I had to think about what was I doing at 25, think about my friend choices(not great), where I spent my money, What was I doing with my time, . . . . . . . Then realization hit me, I was expecting her to do things I was not doing at her age. I had my answer and knew the angle to take from here.
Well My sweet little sister got overwhelmed by the realness I ask from her. I want her to be 100 % her, not a fake version. I was expecting to much of her and I was rushing her to grow up.I ask her to talk with me, she agreed. Her and I have both grown from this and have sat down and talked details out. I have had to take a big step back and let her do her own thing. Taking myself back to when I was 25, Just moved back in with gramma, newly single and ready to mingle. Not home a lot and not communicating well. I had no re-guard for others worrying about me. I know I upset my gramma often living with her. At the time I did not understand why, I cannot just live my life. I have much better perspective now. I felt better after we hashed it out and wrote up a new contract.
I took the time to type up the contract in a very simple way so Kerry could fully understand it. I had her read it out loud and she commented on anything she had questions on. She said she agreed and signed it. I’m going forward stepping back and just being here to help guide her. Here to stay positive and keep her going forward. She has had 10 good days no a row. She has her space but responsibilities also have to be met. Feeling confident going forward, I know what I’m doing from here on out. That’s to let go and just be her safe place. She knows I love her and just want whats best for her. She is going to do what I ask more when She feels like she can choose the right thing. She is so much more like me at that age then I realized. We have rebonded in more of a sister/best friend/roommate kinda way. She has asked” Sister can we have sister time” melts my heart . I’ll take the time I can get, when she wants to hangout. She is being more open about what she does and sharing more personal details. I’m excited to see where this new begaining takes us.